These Things I'll Never Say
by lapizlazuli
Summary: There are so many things Nami wants to say, but why won't her mouth work? NamixJack... and... COMPLETE!
1. I'm Sorry

Well this is the first time I've done a NamixJack relationship fic, but Nami's an interesting character so I figured I would. This is only a short fic, but enjoy...

Oh yeah, I don't own Harvest Moon and if I did, it would not be as good as it is now. In fact, there would be Ninja Farmers...

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1. I'm Sorry

Nami gazed with a sigh out of the inn window. The glass was cold and her breath formed a cloudy mist on its clear pane. "_Why am I still breathing?" _Nami wondered sadly, as far as she knew she wasn't supposed to live this long. It was dark out, Nami noted as she spotted the first star twinkle in the deep depths of the sky. She stood up suddenly on impulse; maybe she would go for a walk.

She managed to escape without Ruby or Tim noticing, they were probably in bed asleep. No matter how much she liked them there were times when they annoyed her, and this was one of those nights. But she could never be mad at them, they were what she classified as "good people", she had met enough of the bad ones to know the difference.

She escaped out into the cold and breathed in the night air, why were the nights in the springtime so cool and crisp? She glanced around and to her relief she found the rural streets of Forget-me-not valley empty, silent as death. She checked the streets once more, she definitely didn't want to be followed, before trudging towards the beach. She shoved her hands into her pockets, savouring in rough feel of her newly washed shorts.

She arrived at the beach and took her big shoes off, wiggling her toes as she stretched out her bare feet. She then placed them on the soft sand and padded down to the sea.

"It's a beautiful evening." A voice said behind her and Nami whirled around to see Jack. He was the new farmer that had moved in about two days ago; what right did he have to follow her? He barely knew her! She decided to ignore him, as far as she was concerned she was on the beach alone.

"It's nice when the evenings are cool but not cold." Jack noted, trying another attempt at conversation. Nami continued to ignore him, she'd realised very early in life that if you ignored something it usually went away.

"I come from the city, the air's not as clean there and there aren't any oceans, it's nice to watch the ocean at night." Nami felt his eyes on the back of her neck, obviously hoping for some reply. "The waves are nice to listen to."

Nami would have loved to listen to the waves, had an annoying farmer not been chattering on behind her. She heard him draw a breath behind her and decided to put a stop to his nuisance.

"Are you done, or do you want to continue with your monologue? If you do I'll go." She told him, fixing him with a glare from her icy blue eyes.

"Oh... see I was expecting you to jump in and talk..." He told her, obviously not getting that she wanted to be alone.

"GO AWAY! I want to be alone!" She shouted at him angrily. He looked taken aback and rather irate himself. He looked as though he was about to saying something else, but instead he turned and walked away.

Nami watched as the farmer turned away, unable to hide the blush on her cheeks. So it was nice of him to try to talk to her, but he should have got the picture that she wanted to be alone. Besides it wasn't as though she actually liked him. She looked at the ground; he was one of the only people she did like in the village. She swallowed hard, her social skills definitely needed work.

The next morning she woke up at the crack of dawn, unable to sleep anymore. She had only had about four hours sleep, but it was one of those days when sleep didn't come easily to her. She seemed to have far too many nights like that. So she dressed and grabbed a quick bite to eat before venturing outside. Just as she had expected from the gentle dripping outside, it was raining. _"Good," _she thought. She liked the rain, it meant that barely anyone else would be on the streets.

The ground was wet and she felt her shoes slip into the mud; the rain was a little heavier now and the ground more slippery. As she headed up the pathway she slipped on the ground and fell flat on her face. She collided hard with the floor and felt her skin begin to burn where she'd grazed it. _"Very smooth Nami." _She cursed herself mentally. She was glad that no one was around, or so she had thought...

She felt someone lift her to her feet and turned to see Jack again, that guy just didn't give up. She felt her cheeks tint with a pink blush over her snowy, pale skin. She looked deeply into his warm brown eyes, trying hard not to smile. He took her to his farmhouse and sat her on the bed, gently tending to her wounds.

She had a few grazes and was bleeding a bit, but as far as she was concerned it was no big deal. She had no idea why he seemed so worried. So there was a river of blood pouring down her leg, blood was good, it meant the wound was being flushed and the dirt taken out. Blood was cleansing, blood was life, blood was... staining the poor farmer's carpet.

"You might want to clean that up." She told him, gesturing to the stain. He nodded and rubbed some stain remover into the carpet.

"Feel any better?" He asked worriedly. She shrugged, fixing him with a cool glare.

"I would have been fine on my own."

"Yes, you looked it. Face down in the mud is a good look for you." He said, not unkindly, in fact he was laughing. Nami scowled, people laughing at her was worse than them being unkind.

"I don't need your help." She muttered coldly and he stopped laughing abruptly. He smiled good-naturedly.

"Of course not," he said in agreement. Nami frowned more, now he was humouring her. "It's just nice to be helped."

In her mind Nami agreed with that, it was nice to have someone kind to tend to her wounds. But she'd never admit that to him, so instead she shrugged.

"So, are you going to apologise?" The farmer asked, smiling at her again – he smiled way too much.

"For what!" She asked incredulously, her sapphire blue eyes widening. He looked at her in surprise, shocked that she didn't know.

"For snapping at me yesterday, I helped you today. The least you could do is apologize if you're not going to thank me." He told her. She snorted, someone had had one too many lessons on how to be nice.

"Look, I wanted to be alone yesterday, you didn't ask to join me." She pointed out angrily.

"It still hurt my feelings; I think you should learn to say you're sorry." He warned her, raising his eyebrows. He finished bandaging up her leg, so gently, and then he looked at her thoughtfully. She glared daggers back and then stood up.

"Whatever." She muttered, before striding out of the room. Jack was left in the farmhouse, looking dazed.


	2. I Forgive You

Thanks for the feedback guys!

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2. I Forgive You

It was summer and the spring season had passed like a blur. The weather was warmer and Nami was always feeling far more irritable. With heat, came anger. What made her most angry this season however, was the annoying farmer. She couldn't stop thinking about him! She hated him! He was so irritating... so cute. He always had that adorable good-natured smile and his light brown hair was always dishevelled so adorably. Nami hated thinking these thoughts, they were getting in the way of her more philosophical musings.

She strutted into the inn and found Ruby waiting for her, looking slightly nervous. Nami looked at her curiously and Ruby handed her the phone.

"Your father's on the line dear, he wants to talk to you." Ruby told her warmly. Nami felt her stomach drop and her blood flow cold. Her eyes widened and her hand shook as she reached for the phone. She swallowed as she held the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked quietly.

"Hello Nami, I need to talk to you." The gruff voice of her father said. She gulped again, as her heart began to beat faster.

"That's what you're doing." She stated sarcastically. She heard him sigh down the phone, but after everything he had put her through, she had a right to be angry. She recalled the night she had run away from home, he'd been drinking again and she'd smelt the alcohol on his breath.

_Nami jumped back against the wall, her blue eyes shining with fresh tears. She bit her lip hard until it bled, her dad was advancing at her._

_"Please daddy, don't." She pleaded, her voice shaking. Her father was in a drunken rage again, he'd been down the pub with the guys again._

_"Shut up, you bitch! You were a mistake." He yelled at her, advancing closer. She pressed her back closer to the wall, wishing it would swallow her up. She glanced helplessly at her mother who was gazing at the scene. Her eyes seemed empty, not even flinching as she watched her husband punch her daughter in the face. Nami fell to the hard floor and felt blood trickle from a wound on her head._

_"I'm sorry." She screamed at him, hoping it would quell his anger._

_"I'll kill you, you worthless little..." He began. Nami stood quickly as he went to kick her. She saw him advance again and grabbed the thing nearest to her, a frying pan. She swung it at him before running out of the door with only the clothes on her back. Since that day she had kept running, never staying anywhere too long, in case her dad found her._

"How did you get this number?" She asked coldly.

"We searched everywhere sweetie. Your mother and I, we want you back home. I'm better now, you'll see, I got my drinking under control. Please come back home!" He begged her. She closed her eyes tightly, feeling her hand shake again, she wanted to believe that he was better.

"So you can hurt me again?" She said sarcastically. She heard him draw in a ragged breath; the memory obviously hurt him too.

"I'm so sorry... for everything. Please come home." He pleaded her again. She breathed in again, thinking deeply.

"Bye dad." She murmured quietly before hanging up the phone. She heard footsteps and saw Jack behind her.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She tried to stay strong and just walk past him, but she broke down. She fell into his arms, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I can't forgive him! I just can't!" She spluttered tearfully. He held her tightly, rubbing her back soothingly as he made calming sounds.

"It'll be okay." He told her gently. She shook her head, she knew it wouldn't. Her father would keep calling and he would make her go home. She whimpered in his comforting arms, enjoying the warmth.

"Why did you forgive me?" She asked softly, as he managed to calm her down a little.

"To err is human, Nami. We all make mistakes." He told her softly. His voice was so gentle; it made her feel safe – _he_ made her feel safe.

"Sorry Nami, I wish I could stay, but I promised Muffy I'd meet her for dinner." Jack told her awkwardly. She let go of him, feeling a sudden stab of jealousy.

"O-okay." She stammered. He smiled gently before hurrying out of the inn. _"To err is human." _He had said, well that was true. Nami had made plenty of mistakes – she was human.

"To forgive is divine." She whispered. Jack had forgiven her, he was above her. Yet she treated him like she was beneath her. She wanted to break down again, but she couldn't in the middle of the inn. Instead she hurried to the bar to drown her sorrows.

Big mistake.

There was Muffy twiddling her blonde hair and flirting with Jack outside. He was grinning broadly and looking genuinely happy. She watched them sadly, she never made Jack happy like that.

"So we'd better hurry, or we'll never make it to Mineral town in time for dinner." Jack told her, spotting Nami. Muffy smiled and nodded.

"Oh ya! How do I look? Do I need more makeup?" She asked, her green eyes widening.

"No, you look beautiful." He told her with a smile. Muffy giggled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh Jack, you're such a sweetie!" Muffy told him. Nami clenched her teeth, she wanted to walk over and punch that dumb slut of a blonde to the floor. See how "beautiful" she was with all her teeth knocked out. Nami could make a necklace of Muffy's teeth and then maybe sell it to Van!

She watched them walk off enviously before taking a seat on the hard wooden stool at the bar.

"What'll it be?" Griffin asked her amiably.

"A Stone Oil! Don't skimp on the stone." She told him sadly.

"Extra stony eh? Bad day?" He asked her, making her the drink. She shrugged, she knew after the drink she'd open up, but she couldn't sober. After the next two drinks she suddenly burst out.

"That whore stole my boyfriend!" She yelled, slamming her glass down on the table.

"Hmm... by whore I assume you're talking about the pretty blonde I love as much as my own daughter and by your boyfriend you must mean the farmer who you've ignored as much as possible." Griffin said, ever the voice of reason.

"Why'd I bother opening up to you, I knew you'd take _her _side." She snarled.

"Yes I suppose, but out of the two of you, who has been pleasantest to Jack?" He asked calmly.

"Fine, I have no chance whatever. I'm outta here." She muttered before striding out, leaving Griffin behind, shaking his head.


	3. I Love You

3. I Love You

It was fall now, and Nami was sitting by the waterfall calmly, eyeing the trees carefully. It was beautiful how the trees lost their velvety green cloaks after the summer and instead garbed shining gold ones. The weather was cooler again and the rains more frequent, but to weather was at its best this time of year in her opinion. She would have been perfectly content gazing at the rushing water but her mind was plagued with troubling thoughts. A day or so ago she had agreed to go home to her parents finally, after five years. But that meant leaving Forget-Me-Not valley behind. She had no reason to stay.

Yet she was still debating whether or not to tell Jack about the depth of her feelings for him. Their meetings had been infrequent and she'd always been cold towards him, yet she'd still found herself falling in love with him. But she knew he could never return her feelings, not after the way she'd treated him. He'd choose a wife like Muffy, sweet and outgoing but dumb as a post. _"Stupid people are the happiest." _ She decided. They were blissfully ignorant to the pain in life and easily distracted, that was what made them happy.

Or maybe he'd choose a wife like Celia, kind hearted and down to earth yet dull and boring. He'd never marry her, someone as unpredictable as the autumn weather and as cold as the winter. She had as much chance of him falling in love with her as Romana, and that woman had been born the same time as the dinosaurs. _"Tell him." _Her mind whined at her. Nami sighed, maybe she should tell him, after all she was only going to leave.

Even if by some strange occurrence he felt the same, she couldn't stay. She'd been in the valley far too long already, she hadn't exactly outstayed her welcome, but she was bored. Besides, she had to return home, she couldn't run forever. But if she settled down with Jack, would she be running?

She stood up slowly and brushed the dead leaves from her shorts, it was only fair she told him. She sighed, she had to tell him. She moseyed on over to the farm as slowly as possible, dreading his reaction to her news. She spotted him by the small pond and wondered over. He spotted her immediately and as soon as he looked at her she felt her feet go cold. She couldn't tell him, she had to leave soon.

"Oh hey Nami." He said with a wave. She cursed under her breath, too late, she couldn't back out now.

"Hey." She said softly, looking at the floor as though it had something particularly interesting to say.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you." He said softly, taking a step towards her. She looked up inquiringly and nodded for him to continue.

"Well... I know we haven't known each other for long but... but." He stammered, Nami gazed at him in confusion. He'd never had trouble speaking to her before. "I don't know how to tell you this, but I think this will make it clear."

He pulled a shimmering blue feather from his pocket and held it out to her. She looked at it dumbly.

"It's a feather." She said with a shrug. He nodded, looking at her expectantly.

"It's the custom here, to propose with a blue feather." He informed her and her eyes widened. He was proposing to her. "Unless those sprites told me wrong." He added under his breath.

"What?" She asked in confusion.

"Oh... uh nothing." He assured her. He then watched her nervously, waiting for an answer.

"So... this is for?" Nami asked dumbly. This couldn't be right, _he _couldn't be proposing to _her_.

"Well the truth is... I love you. So erm... will you marry me?" He asked her unsurely. She began to chew her lip, she wanted to say yes, to tell him she loved him too. But the words evaded her. It would be simpler if she just went home.

"I can't." She told him softly, handing the feather back to him sadly. Jack looked completely broken, he took the feather and smoothed it.

"Oh... well... I guess that's okay..." He said softly, she could hear his voice beginning to grow weak and tears beginning to appear in his eyes.

"I... I..." She began, she wanted to apologise, to tell him that she loved him. Why did this have to be difficult, why couldn't she just tell him the words in her head? How she really felt.

"Don't." He whispered as he turned away. "It's not your fault."

She watched helplessly as he walked away from her, unable to force the words from her throat.

"Yes it is." She whispered as he left. She felt tears begin to trickle down her cheeks, burning her face. She fell to her knees and began to cry, why did she have to make everything so hard?


	4. Goodbye

4. Goodbye

Nami had packed all her belongings, which really didn't amount to much. A change of clothes, a couple of fossils, a big jar of Ruby spice. It was all she'd ever needed. She wiped the recently fallen tears from her eyes and sniffed. Why was she crying? She never cried. She pointlessly checked the room one last time, there was nothing left for her now.

She'd promised her father a day or two earlier that she would finally return home. She'd been running long enough, and it was time to face the deafening music. But maybe, she decided, it would be good to have a home again. The valley had never been her home, not really. They say home is where the heart is, and she'd never let her heart be there, she'd known she had to leave someday.

She heaved the rucksack onto her shoulder and looked out of the window, it was the early hours of the morning, so not one resident was slowly ambling down the path. She was ready to slip out quietly; nobody would have to know until she was long gone. She hated to say goodbye. She padded slowly down the sandy pathway, heading in the direction of Mineral town. From there she could take a boat and be back home by noon.

As she passed the farm she spotted Jack doing some early morning grass cutting. "_Damn," _she thought, she hadn't expected him to be up so early. But then again, he was a farmer, of course he needed to be up early. She frowned; she would have to be really sly to avoid him seeing her. She took a cautious step forward and cringed as her foot landed on a stick. A loud crack sounded through the peaceful valley and she groaned.

Jack looked over at her and smiled awkwardly, running down to meet her. He was like a puppy, with a limitless amount of energy.

"Hey Nami!" He greeted amiably, noting her rucksack. "Going somewhere?"

She cursed his intuitiveness, why couldn't he have just assumed she was going to Mineral Town.

"Away." She said shortly, it was best to be as vague as possible. He frowned and she knew he was planning to question her further. He thought for a moment and was silent.

"Are you coming back?" He asked, his eyes filled with a strange sadness, he already knew. She shook her head quietly, her eyes focussed on the stones of the ground.

"Oh, were you planning on telling anyone... no... Of course you weren't. You were just planning to leave! How do you think everyone will feel?" He asked angrily. She looked up at him, mirroring his anger, how dare he be mad at her? She had a reason not to tell anyone!

"They'll get over it." She said with a shrug. He went silent again, looking hard at her.

"You weren't even planning on telling me..." He noted quietly, his voice sad. She took a deep breath, she wanted to tell him how much she'd wanted to say goodbye. She wanted to say so many things to him that her mouth had refused to. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him and how sorry she was for everything. But for some reason she couldn't, they would never have gotten anywhere like that.

"No. You're all better off without me." She offered. He looked at her with sad puppy dog eyes and she felt her cold heart shattering like ice at the blow of a sledgehammer.

"You know that's not true. But fine... go ahead and think that. I..." He paused, pondering whether to tell her he loved her one last time. "Goodbye Nami."

They were better off without the heartbreak. Nami would never open up, and even Jack's warmth couldn't melt her icy armour.

She nodded, running a hand through her blood red hair. She glanced at him one last time, she really wanted to say how much she'd miss him. She wanted to hug him and cry into his arms, but she wouldn't, that was beneath her. Jack nodded too and sighed before turning back to his farm, not even looking back.

"Goodbye Jack, I'll miss you." Nami whispered before she disappeared from the valley.

Jack frowned as he glanced over at the pathway to Mineral town, he could have sworn he'd heard Nami say something.

"Just the wind." He muttered as he sliced his sickle through the lush grass.


	5. ForgetMeNot

So Ladies and Gentleman, we have come to the end of our short ride, sorry the final chapters a little sad but I tend to be kind of a tragic writer. Anyway, thank you all for reviewing and enjoy the end.

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5. Forget-Me-Not

Nami sat on the bridge over the stream at the bottom of her garden. Her legs were dangling over the side as her eyes hovered over the glassy water. It was over a week since she had left Forget-me-not valley, it was true, she would never forget it. In fact it haunted her every dream, it even lingered in her waking world. True, she was home, accepted into her family's arms and everything was good again, or as good as it ever could be. But she missed the valley terribly, it was the first place she'd ever missed.

But more than the valley, she missed Jack and she'd missed her opportunity. So she sat with the yellowy paper on her lap and a black ink pen in her hand. She slipped onto the bridge, her feet landing safely down with a thud. She lay down on the floor and began to write.

-In Forget-me-not valley-

Jack's heart ached, Nami had been gone for two weeks, and he missed her. She'd never been open with him, but he still loved her. She'd cast her strange spell upon him and now he was cursed, cursed to miss her forever. He patted his adorable puppy on the head and walked over to his mailbox. He reached his hand in, expecting to find nothing as usual, no one ever mailed him. He was surprised to find a small white envelope.

He sat down on his bed and opened up the letter. The writing was delicate and squiggly, but easily legible. He smiled when he saw the name at the bottom, Nami... So he began to read:

_Dear Jack,_

_If I said that I hoped you haven't missed me, or even thought about me since I've been gone I'd be lying. I want you to have missed me, to have suffered like I have, because truth be told, I've missed you. I've missed that dumb little valley where the wind howls too loudly and it's too quiet at night. I've missed everything._

_I decided to write this letter because... because I could never say these things out loud. I could never tell you how I really felt, and it's just stupid to write a letter to your next-door neighbour! So now, from my home far away, I can finally tell you how I really feel._

_First, I want to say how sorry I am, for everything. For all the times I snapped at you, for all the times I didn't apologise, for all the pain I must have put you through. So there it is, "I'm sorry", I couldn't say it, so I'm writing it now._

_Secondly, I forgive you. I know, how stupid does that sound, what would you have to apologise for? You've been perfect. So I suppose I'm not making you apologise for anything in the past, but in the future, you may feel guilty about things. So I want you to know "I forgive you", because you're going to move on and have a new life that I won't be a part of, and that's okay. In fact that's good, I hope I can do the same._

_Thirdly, I want to tell you that I love you. I really did want to marry you, I swear! But I just couldn't tell you, because that's just not me. I've never been able to say the things I've wanted to, but it doesn't make how I feel any less true. I should have told you before, but I'm saying it now. "I love you", I do, so much, if I had a second chance I would have told you from the beginning._

_Lastly I want to say "goodbye", because whether you've realised it or not, this really is it. If I can't tell you what I want to say, then we were never going anywhere. So, this is for the best I guess, move on, get married have kids. Maybe we'll meet again, maybe we won't, but it doesn't matter. If we do ever meet again we won't be the same people, so what I feel now won't matter, maybe then we could be friends._

_Forget-me-not,_

_Nami._

Jack felt the tears trickle down his cheeks, watching as they splattered onto the letter which he gripped tightly in his hand. He then silently vowed to the godly powers that watched over the valley that wherever Nami was, no matter how far away, he would find her.

THE END


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